Am I a bitch? (Please, no response necessary …).

Have you ever asked yourself this question?  Have you ever made decisions that people don’t like and you wondered if it was you or the decision?  I’ve made a few hard decisions in these last six months and I’ve questioned myself because they were unpopular ones.

Maybe the real question is not whether I’m a bitch, but whether I have the confidence and clarity about my decisions to not worry about what others think.   Maybe the woman in me characterizes it as bitchiness but if I were a man it might be seen as confidence.

Yes, of course it is easy to puff and look confident … they teach you that in law school (not!).   But, I don’t wake up every day feeling confident.  In fact, some days I wake up feeling the opposite.  Maybe I feel bad about a situation at work or a fight with my kids or a partner.  Whatever the reason, being confident is not always on a plate in front of me. Confidence, as we all know, takes work and introspection.  So, it’s not surprising that when other people have issues with my decisions, I wonder if it’s the decision or me.

This year I joined a really cool group of women (and let me tell you, I am the slacker out of these women — so you can imagine what the ones are like!).  From our discussions about confidence, I came up with my own personal list of 4 things that I should (read – need) to say to myself each day.  Maybe they resonate for you too:

1. The one constant in my life is that things will change and I need to expect and embrace change.  Change is no ones fault.  It just happens.  If I am responsible for the change, it’s because it is necessary.

2. I need to give and take care of myself in fairly equal amounts.  Sometimes I am going to have to make a decision about taking care of me first and I can’t feel guilty doing so.

3.  I need to live in the present and not worry about the past or the future because I have no control over either one.  Decisions based on the past will get me in trouble.  Decisions based on the future are blind.

4. I need to trust my inner voice.  It is always (I mean always) right.

Let’s remember this: A confident person is not always confident.  And, they are ok enough with themselves to contribute to the world without worrying about outcome. 

Having confidence is a process as is every thing we do in life.  For me, the one key is #4 – my inner voice.  When I follow that, the rest seems to fall in to place.  How about you?

Have a wonderful start to your long weekend.

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