Have you ever asked yourself this question? Have you ever made decisions that people don’t like and you wondered if it was you or the decision? I’ve made a few hard decisions in these last six months and I’ve questioned myself because they were unpopular ones.
Maybe the real question is not whether I’m a bitch, but whether I have the confidence and clarity about my decisions to not worry about what others think. Maybe the woman in me characterizes it as bitchiness but if I were a man it might be seen as confidence.
Yes, of course it is easy to puff and look confident … they teach you that in law school (not!). But, I don’t wake up every day feeling confident. In fact, some days I wake up feeling the opposite. Maybe I feel bad about a situation at work or a fight with my kids or a partner. Whatever the reason, being confident is not always on a plate in front of me. Confidence, as we all know, takes work and introspection. So, it’s not surprising that when other people have issues with my decisions, I wonder if it’s the decision or me.
This year I joined a really cool group of women (and let me tell you, I am the slacker out of these women — so you can imagine what the ones are like!). From our discussions about confidence, I came up with my own personal list of 4 things that I should (read – need) to say to myself each day. Maybe they resonate for you too:
1. The one constant in my life is that things will change and I need to expect and embrace change. Change is no ones fault. It just happens. If I am responsible for the change, it’s because it is necessary.
2. I need to give and take care of myself in fairly equal amounts. Sometimes I am going to have to make a decision about taking care of me first and I can’t feel guilty doing so.
3. I need to live in the present and not worry about the past or the future because I have no control over either one. Decisions based on the past will get me in trouble. Decisions based on the future are blind.
4. I need to trust my inner voice. It is always (I mean always) right.
Let’s remember this: A confident person is not always confident. And, they are ok enough with themselves to contribute to the world without worrying about outcome.
Having confidence is a process as is every thing we do in life. For me, the one key is #4 – my inner voice. When I follow that, the rest seems to fall in to place. How about you?
Have a wonderful start to your long weekend.