I have a friend who thinks I should just finish off this year and stop blogging. Be done. Enough is enough. “You did it and now move on to exploring your life.” While I won’t comment on this opinion, and I have not figured out what to do in 65 days — whether to continue in the same venue, different venue or not at all — it did raise the question for me, “How do I explore my life?”
There’s no question that I explore my life through my children. In fact, we can all agree that our kids have provided us with a view of life that one can only have with children (I use this term “children” loosely, to account for lots of different options.). I’ve certainly had to learn to temper my feelings in the face of harsh words. I’ve had to let go and allow mistakes to happen. And, I’ve learned about unconditional love.
I’ve explored my life through my love relationships, my marriage and other people I’ve met along they way. In those relationships you have to allow for another’s needs, even when your needs are screaming loudly in your brain. I’ve certainly learned the difference between physical attraction and emotional love. And, I’ve learned the importance of respect and kindness.
My parents have taught me about the harsh realities of life, how to be a parent and how not to be a parent.
And, my blog. My blog has taught me more about my life than I could have ever imagined 300 days ago. It has forced me to think about my s***. It’s allowed me to look at the things that happen to me on a daily basis and make some sense of it all. Why do I meet certain people, who I will never see again? Why am I afraid of certain things – like vulnerability? And, why is change so difficult, but necessary?
I suppose that’s why people say journaling is so important. It takes what’s in your mind, those things that you really are afraid to say out loud, and allows you to acknowledge them, even if it’s only with yourself. Look, the only way to grow is to acknowledge the need for growth. And, the only way to do that is an honest assessment of who we are, what we stand for and where we want to go.
So, here we are – day 300 on my quest to 51. I’ll be there in 65 more days. I have way more to grow and learn than could ever occur in the next 65 days. So, what will come next? I’m still not sure and am open to suggestions.
The really fantastic news, however? We don’t have to explore our lives alone. We definitely have each other!
Have a wonderful day!