I’ve intentionally avoided this blog topic in the yearof50.

When I set up this blog, I decided to avoid a few topics, including my personal romantic (or lack thereof) life.  I’m typically quiet about that topic.  I’ve been divorced a long time and it seemed to work well … neither of us getting married and both of us working to manage and support our children.  My theory is: if you can’t be married to the father of your children, he should at least be one of your closest friends.  That’s not always possible.  Thankfully, for me it was.

When we separated, I had three under three.  I was working full-time and my mom was gone.  The thought of dating was so far out there that I didn’t even feel like spelling the word!

Then, one Sunday afternoon, when no one was at the office and I needed to go use the restroom (yes, I know … always the bathroom!), I met someone at the elevator. The floor was empty except for the two of us.  We talked for about five minutes – I don’t even recall the conversation.  He recalls exactly what I was wearing.  I’ve joked that after that brief meeting, I would not have been able to pick him out of a crowd.  He called me two hours later (got my number from a friend!) and said we had to have dinner.  I made up an excuse and said no.  We eventually went. Now, reading from his journal from way back then, I am shocked by the clarity he had about that meeting.  He knew dinner (and more) was in our future.  And, while I didn’t buy it for many years, I’ve since come around to the same conclusion.

We’ve had the rockiest of relationships/friendships.  We’ve been together over the years and not.  I’ve been quite ambivalent for a long time and he fed off that to create his own form of ambivalence.  I’ve not wanted to commit and rock the boat I have with my kids.  “Nothing serious” has been my mantra for many years.

But, as I have only a few blogs left, I have to make a point of recognizing him.  You never know when you meet someone, how they’ll fit into your life.  But sometimes you just know it will be important (a shout out to my new friend in Arizona).  That’s what makes life so awesome!

So, here we are – 10+ years later.  Our kids have grown up together and we have too.  He has taught me more than I could ever have imagined.  I can’t say for sure what will happen in the future, but I can say this — I’ll never be able to replace the experiences, lessons and love I’ve had from knowing him.  Never.

People do that.  They change your life.  Or maybe that is life…

So, before I get to my last yearof50 post, I want to thank him.  He was right – it was the most important bathroom break of my life!

Have a wonderful day everyone!

One response to “I’ve intentionally avoided this blog topic in the yearof50.

  1. love this Jessica. I believe that people come into our lives for a reason. They present gifts in the form of lessons. We can choose to learn from them or not but I find that I keep repeating the same behavior until I’ve learned my lesson! Have you considered a Year of 51? I love your thoughts.

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