I am good at a few things and not-so-good at many things.  After recounting the various conversations with my Saturday running group yesterday, I came up with a few areas that I am “short” in getting ready for spring.   I’ve got hundreds more “areas” but here are a few to start off the spring season:

1. I want to be better at loving g-ds creatures.  I can honestly say that I hate mice and bats.  I am not in love with the box elder bugs that have invaded our house (which no one seems “bugged” by but me).  I really despise the geese that seem to be coming back in full force.   I stepped on their remnants yesterday.  Yuck.

2. I am terrible at relaxing.  Or better yet, I am terrible at understanding how or when to relax.  My ex said to me yesterday (after I mentioned that I was tired from vacation with the kids), “How could you possibly think that taking a vacation with the very people who you need to vacation from, would be a vacation?”  Well put.  I need to find real quiet time to regroup this spring.

3. In keeping with #2, I am terrible at finishing a book.  I used to read all the time.  Now, The Economist is the best I can do (the articles are short).  I took two books on vacation and didn’t crack either one.  What’s happening to my mind?  Is it turning to mush?  I am going to promise to read three great books this summer.  Any suggestions?

4. I am really bad at shopping.  Not shopping for food.  I’m awesome at that one.  I am bad at clothes shopping – especially when the season changes.  I’m afraid it has rubbed off on my daughter, who also doesn’t like shopping for clothes.  We have to make a “treat” out of it by buying a cup of our favorite flavored Super America coffee before hand just to get revved up for the experience.  Sorry honey, that you got that one from me.

5. I am really bad at just watching a sporting event for my kids.  It doesn’t matter the sport, I apparently cheer to the point of annoying my kids (well, everything I do annoys them but that’s another 25 blogs).  I’m going to try to be more “reserved” as this spring season gets underway.  I promise kids!

So, no great philosophical ideas today.  Nothing earth shattering.  Just a recognition that as spring is coming (although not here today) I have a bit of personal “house-cleaning” to do.   Anyone else want to fess up?

Enjoy your Sunday.  Since my NCAA bracket is shattered, maybe I’ll read a book today!

Yes, that is one of the headings of an article in my first AARP magazine.   And, I might add, the one I decide to read first.  I frantically page through the magazine looking for it and can’t find it!  It’s not in the table of contents nor is it on a page which appears to reference the article!!!  Maybe there is no sex at 70 and that’s why there’s no article! Geeze – what a tease at the outset!

I find three pages on the best ways to spend $100.  Really? If I haven’t figured out how to spend $100 by the time I am 70+ then just forget it.  Here are a few ways they suggest on how to “spend” my $100 (should I have it at 70 to spend): (1)  Play my gift cards right.  Look if I could REMEMBER to bring my gift cards to the store, there would be no issue. I don’t need help spending them; (2)  Get the autographs of stars before they become stars.  Huh?; (3) Stock up on stamps because the price is going up.  You are kidding me??!!!  By the time I’m 70 we won’t be using stamps any more and I will have WASTED my $100.

There’s one paragraph on finding my soul mate.  Why only one paragraph? Maybe at 70 it only warrants one paragraph instead of the 5 pages in O magazine. Hmm.

I find 4 pages on “It’s Never Too Late to Love Your Job.”  Pleeeease.  I am counting on my kids working when I am 70, not me.  Don’t ask me to reinvent myself at 70!  I can barely spell my name now!

Every ad seems to be for helping me survive life: The Walk In Jacuzzi, The Medical Alert, The Premier Care Peace of Mine Walk in Bath, how to plan my estate and the advantages of joining the AARP Foundation.  Where’s the organic milk, perfume and food ads?  I’m not thinking I’m going to like this too much.

At the end is an article on dot.com dating for the “older” crowd with “date tips.”  Ok, at the rate I’m going, that might be me.  Finally, something worth reading!

Have a great day!!!

Oh, and PS – if you youngsters (under 50 crowd) want to read a copy, call me … I’ll save mine for you!

I did something this week that I regret.  I didn’t steal or cheat or anything like that.  I just did something, let something get to me, and didn’t behave in a way that I like.  No one really noticed it but me.  I am still thinking about it.  I don’t like regret, even though we all have it.

I guess I need to let myself off the hook.  Certainly I agree with the notion that the understanding that you did something you regret, is half the battle.  And we all feel it every day.  So, I’m normal, right?

Really, regret is the recognition that the world is not as good or perfect as it could be (or we want it to be).  Regret means that we wish something hadn’t happened, but it doesn’t imply that you could have or should have done anything about it or even responded differently.

There is some good to regret.  It means we look at the things we do in an effort to do better the next time.  It’s like getting angry; it can be helpful at times to allow us to look at issues and work through them.

Thinking or worrying (that’s me) about the situation too much can be counterproductive.  So, it is important to let go of the regret and use it for some greater purpose … to change our behavior the next time … maybe even to apologize (I’m going to do that today).

So, regardless of whether you do something you regret involving your kids, your spouse or even friends, know that regret will help make your life better.  Again, life really is about embracing our mistakes!

Have a great day!

Life has a way of giving you “Ah-ha” moments.   These are the precise moment that you have an epiphany and suddenly understand something that you had previously not understood or despite your best efforts, had not been able to understand it until that exact moment.

I realized today that I am blogging my ah-ha moments.  But my fear is that I won’t do anything with them.  Am I implementing them in my life?  Am I just writing them down and then forgetting them?  Have I become a better person by at least acknowledging my ah-ha moments?  What do you do with your “moments?”

I’ve can say that by taking my ah-ha moments and looking at them, I’ve (sortof) released myself from the clutches of my need for perfectionism – which has led me to some other things:

1. I’ve got a better understanding that I am never going to be a yogi who can meditate for more than 36 seconds!  But, that’s ok.  That’s not who I am.

2. I’ve learned that I am not an 8 hour a night sleeper.  Never have been and as I am getting old(er), I am sleeping less.  Sure it makes me a bit foggy but isn’t that just preparation of my late(r) years?

3. I’ve learned that my kids really are ok and thankful young human beings.  Sometimes I don’t see it, but when I do, I realize that I’ve done the best I can and the rest is up to them (with me watching, of course!).

4. I’ve learned that sharing my flaws shows me just how many I actually have and how much work I really have to do!  That was a big ah-ha moment!

5. I’ve had a few big ah-ha moments about love and relationships from this blog.  More to come on that front!

6. I’ve learned that I have to let go of things.  I have not learned how to do that yet but I do know that I’m going to have to learn.  I have good teachers.

7. I now know that life will end.  I knew that before.  I watched it with my mom but for some reason I see it more clearly now.  This is a tough one and writing any more will just make me cry.

A friend told me this week that he felt very young inside but that his body was getting older and he knew it.   He said it was his ah-ha moment.  I know the feeling!

My point?  Don’t wait for the “moment” to occur.  Sometimes our ah-ha moments come when a family member is sick or some tragedy occurs.  I wish that was not often the case.  But, don’t let those moments go by without change or examination.  Think about who you are.  Be true to and accept yourself – that alone will be an ah-ha moment.

Have a great day!

On our last day on vacation, I want to say a few things to my children.  Honestly, I think we should be saying these things to our kids every day.  

Thank you for a wonderful time this week.  You teach me things by your innocence.  You entertain me in the funniest of ways.  

I pray that you will always keep the incredible sense of wonder you have about the world and life.  It is so much fun to watch.

I hope you will always stay as close to your siblings as you are today.  Stay close to me too.  There are phones everywhere!  There is nothing more important than family.

Continue to grow up and be smart and curious.  It will serve you well.

Enjoy life.  Don’t be in such a hurry to get to the next thing.  If you do, you will miss the here and now.

Love yourself. Love your body.  Love your differences.

Enjoy the quite moments and the loud experiences.

You get one chance and every moment counts.

I had a great time this week (despite ourselves!).  I hope you did too!

Love Mom

When the self-check out lanes came to grocery stores I thought it was a good thing.  People could run in for a carton of milk and not wait behind those people with 122 items or less.  If you needed tampons, condoms or even that huge tub of ice cream (just for you), you could do it discreetly.  Yet, I was lulled into a sense of security with these lanes that was completely smashed last night.

After four hours of driving back from the Twins spring training game to Miami (yes, made longer by too much traffic) we stopped at a grocery store to pick up a few things.  I decided to use the self-checkout.  I won’t go into details, but by the end my daughter was reduced to tears (laughing) at my inability to get the f&^%#@ machine to read the rice and butter I wanted; my boys were trying to calm me down, thinking I might throw something, I think I raised my voice (I was in a frustrated stupor so I can’t recall everything that happened!) and I had crushed my last nerve!  We got out of there (barely) and I was frantic and fuming (we spent almost 5 minutes just trying to get it to read my credit card!).

So, I decided to do a bit of research on these “machines.”  The Food Marketing Institute prepared a report indicating that customers reported higher satisfaction with their shopping experience when they went through traditional checkout lanes (yea, get that!).  The studies also show that there are significant problems with the “machines:” delays due to coupon confusion and payment; intentional and accidental theft; and misidentifying produce and baked goods (it could not read the weight of my grapes last night!). Several other notables included that the “machines” were “unbelievably sensitive” yet “habitually unresponsive” and that these same “machines” (read “monsters”) have even brought employees to tears or “the verge of homicide.”  Oh baby, that was me last night!!!

I’m going to make a political statement here:  These self-checkouts have to GO!  I know they are addicting and we think we can get in and out quickly but we can’t.  I aged 15 years last night in the span of 7 minutes.  So, my friends, enjoy them while they last.  If I have anything to say about it, it won’t be much longer that people can buy those laxatives in the privacy of the self-checkout lane.

Have a wonderful day and if you have to go to the grocery store, find a checkout with a person scanning your goods!

I’m Italian.  We touch. We hug.  We eat.  We dance to the music in our minds. We are passionate about everything. And we always cry from laughing hard.  Sadly, these are traits that my kids don’t particularly like in me.  Mind you, that does not affect how I behave.  But it does mean that I get comments from my kids about my “behavior.”  Yesterday was no exception:

My Son: Why did you touch that guy and what did you say?

Me:  Well, he had on a Twins shirt and I touched him to get his attention and said, “Go Twins!”

My Son: That’s so weird.  You don’t even know him.

Me: So.  Do I need to know him to talk with him?

My son: Yea.  It’s creepy that you touched that guy.

Hmm, I start to think. Am I creepy and awkward?  Is my touching of people an issue?  I touched our new partner recently when he had dust on his pants.  Do you think I could be a pervert, creepy and awkward?

I’ve told my kids that it takes courage to do the awkward thing. That, there will be times where they have to make a choice different from the group and they need to inspire themselves to be awkward.  I love that idea!

I remember that my friends thought my mom was cool and my father was hip (he still is!).  Weren’t we all going to be the cool parents—the ones who were up on all the current trends and never embarrassed our kids?

The truth is, f you are going to parent well, you will have moments when you will need to parent awkwardly.  I recall my father asking my sister and me about birth control.  We were 15 and 13.  I was so embarrassed and it was incredibly awkward, but at the same time I was grateful that he cared enough to ask.

They say I have done some pretty “awkward” things as a parent.  For example, I ban them from music when studying.   I have banned TV except on the weekend.  I really despise Sponge Bob (he really is dumbing down America). Plus, I force them to talk to me about what’s happening with them at school and with friends – even when they don’t really want to.  “Super awkward.”

Not every moment is going to be awkward.  Yet, we need those awkward moments in order to be an effective parent – risking peace to move forward is all part of the growth and parenting process.

Have a great (and possibly awkward) day!