Sometimes we’re smart like Calvin’s mom. Sometimes not. I won’t wage an opinion on this particular “idea.” Being a parent of an adolescent is legendary for its difficulty. Here Calvin’s mom played his game and won. She was taking care of herself and Calvin by teaching him a lesson. As we know, that’s not always easy (or safe) to do!
Teenage boys and girls can be difficult and different. Parenting a teen girl is about emotions. Mine is the first-born so she’s a bit more compliant and helpful. She doesn’t egg on her brothers the way they do to her. She pushes away but gently (I pushed away like a Mack truck, but that’s another story!)
The boys, however are pushing away in an entirely different way from her. Boys tend to brood more and talk less. Sure, we see this in girls, but in a much more emotional way. Boys can also be a bit darker as they move through this period.
With both I have to give clear and reasonable guidelines but with the boys I have to be careful not to over analyze their emotions and states of mind. With boys, in particular, I can’t check their “temperature” too often or they will shut down. Hmmm, as I write this I note that this is the same with grown men (sorry, guys!).
Here’s another thing I’ve noticed: most teenage boys don’t like engaging in long, philosophical conversations with their moms (although mine have been known to blow me out of the water with incredibly deep and meaningful discussions). I’ve grown to understand that I should be satisfied with short answers and find other ways to obtain the information I’m looking for. Gosh, again sounds like grown men? Maybe, I’m missing something here????
The work of parenting is difficult, draining and time-consuming. I’ve done a lot of dumb things as a parent. I was telling someone that I got so frustrated the other day, with one of the boys, that I took my fist and smashed M & M’s that were on the kitchen table. So adult-like of me!
What’s the lesson here? Smart parents not only recognize that kids need to make a few mistakes, but they also learn to take care of themselves. They take time away to rejuvenate – whether on a vacation or reading a book or a trip ALONE to Target (which usually does it for me!).
I actually enjoy this teenage time with my children. I can really experience their moral compass now and I’m thankful for what I see. Yet, I’ve also got to remember to be smarter, let them make a few mistakes and, at the same time, I need to take care of me. Obviously, the goal is to not feel like smashing candy on the kitchen table (which, as you can imagine simply resulted in more for me to clean up!). 🙂
I’m heading out for a long run to keep me smart today.
Have a great day!
theyearof50 