Critique of Jessica #253: Are you really listening to your Inner Voice?

I know a woman who recently ended a very rocky relationship.  For most of it, she knew something wasn’t quite right.  She knew she had done some things that were against the tenets of a relationship, but her tapes were playing about her worthiness … so she stayed.  Yet, something felt wrong to her.  She was listening but not acting on her inner voice.  I recall hearing these same stories when I was on the board of a battered women’s shelter.

I am finding myself doing the same thing in certain areas of my life.  I have gut feelings about how things are going and instead of acting on them I wait, I watch and sometimes I don’t act.  When I do act, I am thankful (albeit a difficult process) that I have listened.  We need to remind ourselves to listen to that inner voice – that gut feel.   The one that we sometimes silence and never should.  That voice, which will eventually tell you that if something just doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t.  

While some decisions are better made with a long analysis and thought process, there are many that are better made with quick thinking and reaction. A study in the Journal of Consumer Research (yes, got this off the internet!) concluded that people who deliberate about decisions make less accurate judgments than people who trust their instincts. In fact, in five separate studies, the researchers found that better judgments can often be made without deliberation!  This is such good news for me!!

So, all I really want to say today is that we need to learn to trust our own internal voices.   And, even more important is to teach our children how to listen to their own voices … the ones they will need when they are faced with those critical teenage decisions.

I often forget that the wisdom I need for my life is right inside me – and it’s inside my kids too.  While our culture has trained us to dismiss this useful resource, we really must consult our heart first … reason will almost always catch up later.   After all, no one knows us better than ourselves.

“Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out.” – Michael Burke

Have a wonderful Saturday.