This week one of my boys asked me the question in the title. I had to think long and hard about this one. People usually say that they do not have any regrets during their lifetime, because the experience of their decisions has made them the person that they are wiser, stronger and smarter. When I think about some of the things in life that I could regret, I notice that I’ve ended up using them as a way to teach myself about something else.
My son wasn’t going to let it go with that response so I started talking with him about options:
1. I regret getting perms when I was in high school. Believe it or not, I used to get hair perms every few months. Did I not know I had curly hair? I spent my hard-earned money on these hair extravaganzas but other than sheer embarrassment, not something big enough for the list.
2. Getting married (and then divorced). This would be an easy one for the list but I just can’t do it. I got married for love, had kids and that was a blessing. So, other than a few times a week when the kids (or ex) are driving me crazy, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
3. Being more present for my parents. As a young adult I was wrapped up in my life and didn’t spend enough time staying in touch with my parents. Somehow, I figured it out (much later in life!) and became more intentional about that relationship … so, I guess this one can’t go on the list either.
4. Not continuing on with piano lessons. Now this would be a good one for the list because I constantly use it as a “threat” when my kids want to stop playing their stringed instruments … “Man, I wish my mom had forced me to continue playing the piano.” This has potential!
5. I didn’t pay attention in high school and I wish I had. I had to work super hard in college and law school to make up for that lost time. Sometimes I watch my kids and I envy the opportunities they have to learn, which I never had. But, even so, working hard later in life, to make up for my poor focus, made me who I am today.
Truth is that I do enough stupid and regretful things each day that one list is not enough! At least I can say “I’m sorry” and have a do-over! That will just have to do for now.
Have a great day.
theyearof50 
The moment I read, “Je ne regrette rien” on the back of an Edith Piaf album was a loss of mental virginity. I could never go back and pretend that I hadn’t been exposed to that declaration. Piaf’s nasally vibratto, crescendoing over the course of that song was like the “No” of a kid whose been knocked over one too many times by a bully and is DONE. Have a Conscience, yes. And believe me, I do. But refuse to invite the agony over past actions to assault you in dark moments. Spin the heavy, regressive dross of regret into the gold of awareness and resolve. I can’t say I’ve always done that. Je regrette, from time to time. But, I know that by doing so I am wasting energy I could expend on getting traction in the here and now. Thank you for yet another “Seed for thought.”
I really am looking forward to seeing you!!!
I wish I would have been more assertive with my life . . . finding my passion earlier and not wasting time on a career that was not fit to my personality. How many times did “my style” have to come up on performance appraisals before I got it? I think the last straw was attending a course, paid for by General Mills, to change (“improve”) my presentation style. . . like I had to be taught to hide the truth and not swear and stuff. 🙂 Great company. Bad fit.
Beth, I think you are amazing. Incredible energy and insight. You would not be heading down your new path without the “shit” of GM. You don’t need to improve your presentation. You need a better audience!