I still get the newspaper delivered to my house. I know its archaic, but I do. I like the feel of it in my hands and the kids love reading it as well. The first thing I read after I look at the business section and the weather … the obituaries.
This may seem morbid but I don’t find it to be. I’m not sure when I developed this habit. I think it was sometime during law school … when I realized that the paper had very little else to read. (A lawyer joke would fit in right here!)
To me, obituaries are stories with love and closure unlike the other grim news of the day. They talk about remarkable accomplishments, achievements, quirky and fun things people have done and a sense of the multitude of people they have touched in their lives.
I’ve wondered about what I would want people to say about me after I’m gone (sorry to my dad and kids who hate talking about this stuff!). And, I don’t say this in a morbid way … but what do you want people to say about you? It’s probably a worthwhile exercise to think about and make sure you life is in line with those desires.
Here’s a snippet of my list:
- I want people to feel that they got the best of me when they’re with me. I’m not always perfect or on my game – but I hope that being with me feels good and positive.
- I want my kids to feel the absolute commitment I have for them, their moral compass and their lives.
- That I made a difference. It doesn’t have to be a big difference but that my being here changed or enhanced the collective good.
- That I was a true friend/partner/daughter.
- That I was not afraid to be vulnerable. Not afraid to be open about who I am, with all my flaws. That I could say what my needs were. That I was not afraid to change.
- That I was a fantastic grandma! (I’ll wait a bit on that one!).
- That I was more than 1/2 full.
- That I could cry, laugh, dance and love all in the same moment.
- That you could feel my unconditional love.
- That I paid attention – even when I didn’t want to.
theyearof50 