My former nanny (well, she’s really family now) came over for dinner with her three kids last night. I’ve known her kids since almost birth and same with mine. I met her when I brought my daughter to the Y for day care. My nanny was one of the teachers. When I had the boys, I asked her to work with us. The rest is history.
She’s mixed with black and white (she gave me the term). One of my sons is a similar color and he was often mistaken for her son (the white boy was clearly not hers!).
As we talked last night I realized something significant – we have the same life issues. Now, let me explain: She’s had a very hard life. Her mother was an addict, she was out on her own from a very young age. Three kids, never married, works her a*** off and has done an amazing job instilling values in her kids. I am forever grateful for having her in our lives – she’s taught me a lot!
But, despite our different upbringings, the difference in our educational history, etc. – we have the same kind of issues: work, relationships, values, kids, getting old(er). With such similar issues (and I think this is true for all of us), why do we act as if we are different from anyone else? If you took color out of the picture there’s really no difference. This is what struck me … this thing that I’ve known all along:
We are all the same unless we treat each other differently.
I’m not saying we should ignore the beauty of all our differences. That would belittle the heritage of our diverse world. I’m saying that we choose these divisions. We allow others to use the differences to the advantage or disadvantage of others.
People often find it difficult to understand what it’s like not to be included, not to be at the center or the top. However, if we could all experience that feeling of exclusion or even fear as I wrote last week, we might be able to get a peek at what it feels like to actually be the discriminated against or not fully included. It’s not just race, it’s all sorts of differences.
I, for one, want to be sure that I recognize the beauty of our differences but respect and treat everyone equally and fairly — I really hope this is also instilled in my kids.
I hope you have a wonderful start to the week.
theyearof50 