Last night I had dinner with a good friend. We talked about what men and women want in their relationship. I started to think about it afterwards and realized (& I could be wrong) that what men and women want is not all that dissimilar. In fact, what they want is more similar than dissimilar. Here’s my take away from last night’s conversation:
1. Respect. You don’t have to agree with all that your partner says or does, but try to honor their opinions or feelings as valuable contributions to the relationship. Not doing so will only make them feel worse. When your partner asks for something – avoid the defensive response and try the, “Thanks for sharing that with me. I want to make it better,” response. It’s the golden rule – treat others as you would like to be treated: Be fair, kind, attentive and loving.
2. Intimacy (physical). Everyone needs it. It’s not just for men!
3. Romance. This should be a no brainer but it’s easy to forget. Date nights, that card or bouquet of flowers. Men and women like these things and they make us feel that love for one another.
4. Support. Nothing feels better than having your partner cheer you on for something you’re doing – whether a race, some goal you set, some difficulty in your life or something at work. Be there and be present.
5. Communication. Women are more vocal creatures than men. Women like to hear things. Like, “I love you.” Or “thanks for dinner (coffee/doing the laundry/ etc). Men communicate more through activities – the things you do together. So make sure both are happening.
6. Time. Time is difficult in this 21st century relationship-thing. Honestly, I think most people would say that making time is more important than the fancy gifts or love letters (although don’t stop those coming – for those enlightened folks who do that!). Finding ways to make your partner a priority says “I love you” all over it!
7. Being Positive. Nothing is better than a partner that is positive about who you are, what you’re doing, the relationship and life. My friend mentioned that his partner’s excitement about life is one of the things he loves the most about her! Think about it. Who wants the alternative to positive in a partner?
Easy to write (and read) … Now for the implementation!
Have a really wonderful day!
And to my friend, whose husband had surgery last night, I’m praying for you both.
theyearof50 