“Character and love trump all.” Words from his eulogy.

A colleague died recently and at his funeral another friend, who gave the eulogy said, “In the end, character and love trump all.”  What could be more true?

I, like all of us, have at one time or another thought that accomplishing or making something of myself meant I had character.  How many people do you know that think that a better, job, more money, new inventions, new relationships, will give them what they want …. the grass is always greener syndrome.  I’ve never believed that’s true.  Have you?

I think character comes from trust.  This guy who died, he was an attorney and people really trusted him (amazing for a lawyer).  And why did they trust him and how important was it to his relationships and his spouse?

Trust is not something all loving relationships (or even friendships) have at first. For some couples the trust becomes complete in a few years. For others, it takes years.  But one thing is for sure — happy and successful marriages and relationships survive and thrive on the basis of this trust.

True trust (read – character) is the kind that you never give a second thought to.  The partners expect it.  It’s always there.  It’s part of the fabric of the relationship.  This is not giving up your “looking” license!  Totally get how normal that is.  But it’s where the couple knows that their relationship is so much more important to them and where the couple understands that destroying the trust will cause the foundation of their marriage to crumble.  The relationship should be bigger than the individual desires.