Setting: We need to be to the baseball field by 5. Boys come home at 3:55 and disappear into the bathrooms.
Me: (Yelling into each bathroom) We’ve got to leave in 45 minutes to get to the game on time.
Them: (No response)
Me: Guys, do you hear me? 45 minutes!
One or both: Okaaaay! (Frustration in their voices). One says, “I can’t hear you.” — (Really??? I am right outside the door!)
Them: Nothing happens.
Me: Guys, we’ve got to leave in 30 minutes and your dinner is on the table.
Them: Silence (Still in bathrooms with headphones). No one comes out. I wait a few more minutes.
Me: Guys, we have to leave in 15 minutes. You’ve got to eat, get dressed and put your stuff in the car!
Them: (A few minutes later, out they come). They eat and start to get dressed – rather slowly chatting the whole time.
Me: Seriously! We needed to leave 2 minutes ago. What’s going on?
Them: Finally, one gets in the car and yells, “Mom! Let’s go! We’ve got to get going!” (Yea, I’m getting pissed now.) The other one says, “I’ve still got to put my contacts in!”
Me: What? No way! That’s a 5 minute process. Why didn’t you think of that before? We’re already late!
Him: Because you didn’t give me enough time to eat!
Me: I walk out. Smoke coming from my ears.
We get in the car. No contacts. I need a workout at the club ASAP. I start driving.
Me: Listen guys. This is ridiculous. You two need to pay attention to the time. You spent 30 minutes in the bathroom and 10 minutes total for eating and getting dressed.
Them: Well, why didn’t you tell us? How are we supposed to know? If you would have given us dinner sooner, we could have gotten ready faster.
Me: (Trying not to pull the car over, because of course, we are late. The smoke from my ears has now turned to flames). Why do you make it my responsibility? (We’re all cranky now!)
Them: Isn’t that your job?
Me: I faint.
Next issue?
Have a great day!
theyearof50 