I have no idea how to define transparent unless it relates to my Saran Wrap. This is the new hot word that everyone is throwing around. But what does it mean? When asked, I’ve struggled for a definition or a picture of what it looks like. So, I’ve decided to make up my own definition (that’s the benefit of blogging!).
Transparent: Being open to the world and the people around you.
Under this definition (or any really), no one can be transparent all the time. But, I think (says Ms. Divorcee) that in order to have healthy relationships (partner and friendships), both parties need to be able to trust, respect and share their deep struggles and fears in life.
Really, it’s doing what I am doing here — intentionally baring one’s soul to any one who will read (or listen) to it — the good and the not-so-good — so that you can know the person separate from their fears.
We’re all afraid to show people who we think we are. I’ve generally been afraid too (although many of my friends tell me that I am super willing to share my S%$# (smile)). But, like everyone else, I hide behind my fear of rejection and lack of self-confidence. I’ve noticed, however, that as I’ve opened up to the world, I’ve been able to see and experience some incredible things.
Being transparent allows us to feel our emotions and share them without needing them to be “fixed.” It allows us to reflect on what’s happening in our lives and to find ways to work from within to learn and grow from disappointments.
My daughter has had a few disappointments in the last couple of days. In watching her deal with them, I’ve learned how transparent she can be. Rather than say “I’m fine,” as most of us do to keep people away and from dealing with our feelings — she quietly shared her feelings and, as a result, could move on in a beautifully positive way. I can learn from her.
So, ask yourself these questions about being transparent:
1. Are there people or things that prevent you from opening up to someone close to you?
2. How could you work to be more transparent?
3. What benefits might your relationships experience by being more transparent?
4. How vulnerable are you willing to be to become more transparent? (this is a tough one for me!)
A friend of mine recently spent an entire run talking about her feelings re. an issue. She was totally open and not afraid to sound judgmental (she wasn’t!) – she was transparent. It was awesome to watch.
I believe that finding people who we can be transparent with, is critical to living a happier and more fulfilled life. I’m making a conscious effort to be transparent so that others can be more transparent with me, hence this blog … so give it up people!!!
Again, I’m totally a work in progress!
Have a great day!
theyearof50 