Today’s the day I start the “prep” for my now-I-am-50 appointment tomorrow. Everyone says the prep is worse than the procedure. Frankly, what’s bugging me is that I have to drink some stuff that makes me nauseous just looking at it and that jello and broth are on my agenda for today. Moreover, going 30+ hours (I counted) without food seems unthinkable for a person who is eating every two hours.
This reminds me of my “yearly” appointment when I turned 40. The nurse practitioner told me, before the doctor came in, that I could expect to gain about 10 pounds in my 40s and that sex would become much less “interesting.” I was incredulous (neither one of these things happened, BTW, for those of you reading who are under 40!). Then, when the doctor came in, he told me that he was glad that I had kids because I’d already started menopause and having any more kids was off the table. By that point I was sobbing. Not because I wanted more kids (OMG!), but because an arbitrary age was setting some sort of plan for my next ten years. (the poor doctor asked me if I was crying because I couldn’t have any more kids. I said, “No, I’m crying because I’m in menopause – isn’t that what all women do in menopause?” Duh!)
So, here I am at 50. No one told me that I would gain 10 pounds at this appointment. They just said, “your skin will get dry, the rest of you will get dry, you will start to forget more and you need a colonoscopy.” Seriously? Do these appointments get better at 60? Because they are brutal at 40 and 50!
Maybe by 70 or 80, they don’t really care what you do anymore. Maybe that’s why the older we get the more relaxed we get. My dad has donuts for breakfast almost every day. He’s a thin guy and his response to me, when I question him on the healthiness of it all is that he can do whatever he wants now. Yea! Looking forward to giving that response.
Meanwhile, I’ve got a good book (one that I intend to write about in the coming blogs), we’re going to clean the garage and the mud room, so I can be close to the bathroom (read, “they will clean …”) and I will be back in the saddle (no pun intended) by 3:30 tomorrow afternoon. I’m sure the next time you see me will be with food in my mouth … the way g-d intended it to be!
Enjoy the weather today!
theyearof50 