Last night I was out with two women for dinner. One I had never met in person and the other, someone I was introduced to by the one I had never met in person (following that?) I had an amazing time and I think we would have stayed and talked longer had my totally exhausted body not given out at 9:30 (yup, getting old(er)).
Helen Keller once wrote, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” My guess is that most of you would agree with that statement. Countless scientific studies would too.
Have you ever seen the YouTube video by best-selling author of “The Middle Place,” Kelly Corrigan, where she extols the capacity of women to draw strength from one another and transcend the most hopeless situations? Check it out.
Or, have you read the book by Jeffrey Zaslow, father of three girls, who spent years combing through diary entries, letters and interviews with 10 women from a small town in Iowa. His book, “The Girls from Ames,” chronicles their 40 years of friendship – another must read.
The studies all show that having a close group of friends, especially for women, helps women sleep better, improve their immune systems, stave off dementia and actually live longer. (Guys, this means you WANT your wives to hang with their friends!) There’s even a study out of Stanford, where late-stage breast cancer patients who had a circle of confidants had a better chance for survival than others. Amazing (but not surprising).
So, if friendships are so important, how do we maintain them? I’ve read that the best advice on maintaining a friendship appears counterintuitive at first – it’s lowering our expectations. In these times of being busy and having kids, working, etc., we can still have best friends who we don’t always have the time to carry on long calls with or get together as often as we like.
I have a friend in NM who I clearly do not talk with often enough. But I would call her one of my closest friends. She knows me — really knows my strengths and my insecurities and still loves me (although she’s not afraid to call me on the carpet!). I have two friends from my former firm that I’ve not seen in months. But I know, if I called either one with good or not good news, they would be there in a flash. My assistant – friend first and foremost (I actually work for her!). There’s my sister, of course, and the two new “sisters” from last night … can’t wait to explore those friendships!
So in this scary world with people behaving badly, lets look to our friends. They will help us live longer, laugh more and might even give us some insight into the rest of our crazy-busy, fun-filled lives!
Reach out to a friend today – and enjoy the start of your weekend!
theyearof50 