Theme for my next therapy session: How to say “no.” (FYI – I suck at this)

There are some things I easily say “no” to.  “No, you can not order soda at the restaurant.”  “No, you can not stay up late to watch (name the sport).”  “No swearing!”  (No eye rolling from my kids here!).   Those are the easy things.

It’s harder when a friend or someone at work wants help with something.   Of course we’ve good intentions and the reason it’s difficult to say no is because we want help others.  Totally get that.

The problem is some of us are doing too much.  We run around stressed out because we have too much on our plate and suck at saying no.   We, read me, must learn to say no.

The trick is knowing when and how to say no.  I am not advocating being selfish – far from it.  But, maybe it’s time to take care of ourselves and put a no or two out there.

Most times, saying no can be a daunting experience.  Intellectually, you know you have to say it but when it comes time to actually using this two-letter word, we become anxious and guilty.  So, instead of saying what we really want to, we say, “yes, of course” and then later feel frustrated that we didn’t speak up.

I was thinking of creating a list of some ways to say “no” but then I decided that there is no one way, especially for people like us who say “yes” all the time.  What we need to do is step back and pick one thing at a time.  We need to not pressure ourselves to “take back our lives” as we read in all the rags.  That will create even more stress.

Learning to say no could likely be the best gift you can give yourself and those you love (and those who love you!).  It will reduce your stress level and give you time for what is really important.

So, today, just do as you normally do.  And, if something comes up – someone asks you to do something – think about it.  Is it something you love?  Is it something your passionate about?  Could you squeeze the time in and not lose time for something important to you?  If the answers are yes — then don’t worry and do it.  If not, allow yourself to say no and do not feel guilty about it!

This is going to be a fantastic day!