I think of myself as liberal in most aspects of the word. And, given my career, I’m someone who believes that woman should have equal footing to men. However, recently we’ve had this battle in our family over my lack of “equality” in the household (amen! I’m doing way too much!!!! …. wait, they’re not talking that kind of equality!)
Here’s the thing: My boys think I treat them differently than their sister. For example, I have a rule that the boys let women off the elevator first or hold the door for them. “That’s ridiculous,” they say. “Women are equal. Why don’t they let us off the elevator?” Or, “Won’t that offend the women who believe in women’s lib?” (who says women’s lib anymore??). I get their argument but I still believe in the process … hmm … was I born in the 50’s or the 60’s?
Then, last night as we were discussing my wanting the boys (I didn’t mention my daughter) to learn to be handy around the house, I heard something come from my mouth that almost made me faint:
“She’ll marry someone who can fix things in the house.”
I felt the world stop. Did anyone hear that come out of my mouth? Was I inhabited by Joan Cleaver? Nope. It was me and they did hear it. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m sexist (they don’t really know what it means but it sounds sexy!)
My daughter can cook (the boys can’t). My daughter can clean up after herself (they can’t – or won’t). My daughter can manage her time and theirs. They can’t even manage their backpacks and junk that falls out of them. Yet, they all do laundry, put it away, fold towels (kind of) and are learning to put their dishes in the dishwasher. So, maybe I’m partially sexist and partially not.
Yesterday when my son went to baseball, he left his half eaten sandwich on the table with crumbs everywhere. Instead of cleaning it up, we took a picture and left it there for when he got home. Upon pointing it out, he lifted up the sandwich and put it in the garbage. When I told him to pick up the crumbs he said, “How am I going to do that?” Wow, have I created sexist monsters?
Actually, all joking aside, my boys are very good about helping when I ask and they are quick to admit that the girls at school are smarter than the boys! They will be great in this woman’s world – I have no doubt about that.
But it’s the gray areas. Is it ok to teach the boys about the elevator? How about fixing things? I think I’ve got to add my daughter to the mix. Look, if the boys wanted to get their nails done with us, I would certainly let them! 🙂
Never a dull moment! Have a great day!
theyearof50 