Now that I’m a parent, I worry. Are they ok at school? Are they ok behind the wheel? Will they have the willpower to withstand peer pressure? Will they do the right thing?
The truth is that kids made it through the depression and through a number of wars. Kids survive, adapt and thrive, despite our worrying. While this is true, I still worry.
Yesterday we went snorkeling. Afterwards, the kids asked what I thought. I was honest, “Look guys, it was cool but the whole time I searching around for you. Worrying about where you were and if you were ok. So, I really couldn’t enjoy it as much.” After saying that, I looked at them and they were laughing, telling me that they were fine and that I shouldn’t worry so much! “Mom, that is so you!” Do they see me worrying the way I saw my mom? Did I miss out on something yesterday that was fun because of my worrying? Maybe. But, I didn’t feel bad. I just wanted everyone to be safe.
Worry is part of the job.
In parenting, as in physics, everything we give energy to takes energy from something else. Thus, worry has some costs – like yesterday. And, if we do too much worrying (about those things we can’t control) it could affect our health and outlook on life. Before kids, you just worried about work and maybe a few other things – but it was not a daily occurrence. Add kids, and you worry 7 days a week. Am I right?
Rather than beat myself up over worrying, I am going to accept it and label it as a fear that something will happen to my children. And while it’s normal, I am also going remind myself that I can go overboard (no pun intended) and to pace myself! I don’t need “Worry” as a new middle name … I’ve got an extra one from being married and divorced!
As psychiatrist Karl Menninger once said, ”Fears are educated into us and can, if we wish, be educated out.” Great…here’s yet another flaw in my otherwise (not) perfect personality and one more thing to “work” on! I’ll try not to worry about this one!
Have a great start to the week!
theyearof50 