I’m Italian. We touch. We hug. We eat. We dance to the music in our minds. We are passionate about everything. And we always cry from laughing hard. Sadly, these are traits that my kids don’t particularly like in me. Mind you, that does not affect how I behave. But it does mean that I get comments from my kids about my “behavior.” Yesterday was no exception:
My Son: Why did you touch that guy and what did you say?
Me: Well, he had on a Twins shirt and I touched him to get his attention and said, “Go Twins!”
My Son: That’s so weird. You don’t even know him.
Me: So. Do I need to know him to talk with him?
My son: Yea. It’s creepy that you touched that guy.
Hmm, I start to think. Am I creepy and awkward? Is my touching of people an issue? I touched our new partner recently when he had dust on his pants. Do you think I could be a pervert, creepy and awkward?
I’ve told my kids that it takes courage to do the awkward thing. That, there will be times where they have to make a choice different from the group and they need to inspire themselves to be awkward. I love that idea!
I remember that my friends thought my mom was cool and my father was hip (he still is!). Weren’t we all going to be the cool parents—the ones who were up on all the current trends and never embarrassed our kids?
The truth is, f you are going to parent well, you will have moments when you will need to parent awkwardly. I recall my father asking my sister and me about birth control. We were 15 and 13. I was so embarrassed and it was incredibly awkward, but at the same time I was grateful that he cared enough to ask.
They say I have done some pretty “awkward” things as a parent. For example, I ban them from music when studying. I have banned TV except on the weekend. I really despise Sponge Bob (he really is dumbing down America). Plus, I force them to talk to me about what’s happening with them at school and with friends – even when they don’t really want to. “Super awkward.”
Not every moment is going to be awkward. Yet, we need those awkward moments in order to be an effective parent – risking peace to move forward is all part of the growth and parenting process.
Have a great (and possibly awkward) day!
theyearof50 