I have these goals of being calmer and getting through each day with grace and peace of mind. I really want to be unflappable and move easily and peacefully from one task to another. Sounds wonderful but it’s not so simple (for me anyway). In relationships too, anger and frustrations wears on our partners. However, when we are more in control of our emotions, we communicate better and lead more purposeful lives. Plus, of course, being calm feels so great and makes us better parents, friends, partners.
I found an article (S. Michelle) with some steps to keeping your cool and staying calm. I could relate to a few of them and they are the basis for today’s blog (with my interpretations, of course!):
1. It is not a catastrophe. It’s easy to dramatize and make something a bigger deal than it is. Try to avoid the words “always” and “never.” I try to remind myself that I can manage anything as long as I take my steps in a calm fashion.
2. Think before I share. I am amazed at how many people blog or FB about their problems. Chose wisely those you want to share with and then take some time to explore the problem yourself. Often the solution is inside you – not off twitter.
3. Pay attention to when I get frustrated. There are specific times that cause me to lose my cool. Usually if I have not run, if I am hungry or if it is too noisy at home. So, I’ve got to pay attention to these times and visualize staying calm!
4. I can control your emotions. Yes. I (we) can.
5. Work out. This is my way of relieving stress. A no brainer for me. For others, it is finding a quiet place, cooking, etc. Find it and do it.
6. Remember to breathe. Breathing in those crazy moments can really help me stay calm (or regain calm!) and allow me to assess the situation.
7. Forgive myself. Nothing is less calming than worrying about not staying calm. We are not perfect (have I said that a million times before?) I need a lot of reminding on this one!
There is no (fill in the number) step process to staying or getting calm. It is the realization that we are in control of our emotions and then finding ways that help us get there. Here are some great quotes that also help calm my mind:
“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.” Pema Chodron
“There are some things you learn best in calm, and some in storm.” Willa Cather
“One important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Low-key, accepting parents are the ones whose children keep talking.” Mary Pipher
“Remain calm, serene, always in command of yourself. You will then find out how easy it is to get along.” Paramahansa Yogananda
Here’s to a very calm day!!
theyearof50 