Have you ever lost it with your kids and then regretted it five minutes later? Yea, that’s a dumb question. If you’re a parent, the answer has to be yes.
Intellectually I know that no matter how well-behaved our kids are and no matter how patient we are – the general stress and strain of life will wear us down so that we just don’t have the patience we want. Sometimes our emotional responses don’t match our kid’s behaviors. Sometimes, our kids are less than perfect and our frustration matches their conduct.
Last night I lost it with my kids. I came home after a long day, which started at 5:30 a.m., only to find three kids at home, watching TV (and the evil Xbox) with three very dry and unused shovels in the garage. I was livid. How could they come in the house without thinking of shoveling? How did they fail to complete the one task I gave them, which was to take the “list” and pack for our trip? Why were their clothes all over the living room floor? What where these kids doing all day while I was running around like a crazy woman. I just couldn’t maintain my composure. I literally had steam coming out of both my ears.
So, I lost it, got in my car and took a drive to cool off. Sadly, we can never be gone for long because often the reason why we lost it was the stress of all the things we have to do! So, a long time out in Bermuda, for example, or even the MOA is not likely feasible. You’ve likely just got enough time to get a cup of coffee at SA and come home.
I know this happens to all of us. And, when we are composed, the best course of action is simply to apologize. The advantage of an apology (in any situation) is that it allows us to reveal our vulnerability, thereby giving our children permission to reveal theirs.
There are times when you have to be firm. You know what I am talking about — those times where your voice is steely and the words come out purposefully. When this happens my kids know that I’m serious. Unfortunately, it’s those times when I let my emotions get in the way, like last night, when I’m less than believable and effective.
Maybe you can relate to all this. If so, welcome to the joy-filled world of completely imperfect parenting! Gotta love it (and cut yourself some slack too!).
Stay calm and have a great day!
theyearof50 