There are many reasons why I can not be compared to Jennifer Lawrence (“JL”), not the least of which is she is 22, she’s hot (as my boys say) and can act!
Last night I was walking into a wine bar and tripped on something. Maybe the doorway. Maybe the rug in the doorway. I had not had one glass of wine yet! Hey, maybe I could compare my trip to Jennifer Lawrence’s trip (way to be delusional, Jessica (“JLR”)). Just to be clear in my mind, I’ve listed the similarities and differences:
1. Dress at time of trip: JL – Dior Couture / JLR – Macy’s with a hint of Target.
2. Food intake before fall: JL – Nothing / JLR – at least five meals during the course of the day and still looking forward to food at the wine bar.
3. Age at time of fall: JL – 22 / JLR – older than Methuselah and aging by the second.
4. Comment at time of fall: JL – f*%$ / JLR – f*%$.
5. Alcohol before the fall: JL – yes / JLR – no, but wish I would have.
6. Alcohol after the fall: JL – likely many, many drinks / JLR – two, which was one too many!
7. Who helped after the fall: JL – Hugh Jackman / JLR – a stranger walking in the door. He did not look or dress like Hugh Jackman.
8. What did people do after the fall: JL – talk about how endearing it was and gave her a standing ovation / JLR – odd looks from the patrons at the bar and a comment from my friend wondering if I do “this” often.
9. What did she trip on: JL – her dress or waxed stairs / JLR – nothing. Absolutely nothing.
10. How many times the “trip” has been replayed: JL – tens of thousands (and still going) / JLR – this particular trip? None. But I will replay this skilled act over and over again … I’m just that graceful!
While there is only one similarity between Jennifer Lawrence and me (apparently, our foul mouths), I can at least feel good that we all have trouble sometimes — some trip over beautiful expensive dresses and some over our own 50 year-old feet. Yup, feeling pretty frisky today!
Have a safe day!
theyearof50 