We have all experienced this feeling – the desire to erase a bad memory. To move on and completely forget whatever painful event happened to us.
That was the basis for the movie – The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. The first time I saw the movie, I loved it (my date fell asleep about 10 minutes into – leaving me with all the popcorn!). The movie was based on the epic poem by Alexander Pope, entitled Eloisa to Abelard. If you have not seen the movie, I suggest checking it out.
Essentially two people fall in love but it just does not seem to work (although they desperately want it to). They are so saddened by the failure of the relationship, that they have their memories of this relationship erased. During the process the man realizes that he doesn’t want to forget, but it’s too late. At some point later, they meet again. They have no memory of each other but feel how drawn they are to one another. Part way into this second encounter, they receive and listen to the “tapes” of their memories and they realize that they once loved each other but that it had failed. They are left trying to decide if they can use their bad memories to make it better … Essentially, the life question is: what do bad memories do for us?
I have often wanted to erase bad or sad memories. This is different from erasing our mind tapes. Tapes simply distort the reality of who we are and where we should be – and they should be erased. Memories are very different.
There are times (certainly for me) where I’ve felt that my life would be less painful if I could just get rid of certain memories. Yet, I have to admit (although I really don’t want to) that if I were able to destroy bad memories, I would also end up destroying good memories in the process. Just like there can be no light without the dark, maybe there can be no good memories without bad. Memories make us who we are.
Maybe I like the notion of erasing some memories because then I don’t have to deal with the reality of the mistake. Recently, my son and I had a conversation about something that he did that he desperately wished he had not done. I could feel his angst. He wanted to forget the situation ever happened. However, I told him that if he erased that memory, he likely would do the “thing” again and then would have no basis to learn.
As I’ve said many times: Our mistakes make us who we are. As painful as that is, erasing them is just denying our flaws instead of learning from and dealing with them.
So on that, ultra deep thought for the day – I hope you can just appreciate that which is painful, embrace it and learn from it. It makes you the fantastic person that you are!
theyearof50 