How could I not? I LOVE love. To me, this holiday is not about having a partner, boyfriend, spouse (cue, me!). This holiday is about love – love of yourself and others. And let’s remember, love is not perfect. Love can be messy and painful. But ultimately, love should feel wonderful and make us happy. If your love is not doing that – then it is not real love.
I like that Valentine’s Day reminds us to appreciate someone (and Hallmark has made it easy to do just that!). They have cards for us to give to everyone: kids, parents, grandparents, friends, teachers, pets and even co-workers (although that might result in a visit from HR).
I’ve been talking with a close friend about the difference between love and control and how some people (we know) try to decorate control as love … hoping no one will see it. Sorry, we are smarter than that!
So, for my friend – here are my thoughts regarding our conversation on love and control:
1. Love is not trying to dominate someone. No one is perfect and if you love someone, then you should be able to step outside yourself and care for them – selflessly – not try to control or dominate their feelings. If you can’t, then you don’t love them — you just love yourself.
2. Take time to look at yourself instead of wondering what is wrong with your partner. If you can do that, you may see that your love (read – actions) are really selfish and you may not have been making an effort to be compassionate to the true needs of your partner.
3. If you are single or in an unhappy relationship – take care of yourself. Being single is great (the expert is talking!) and it’s certainly much better than being in an unhealthy relationship. Enjoy this time and when the time is right, the right person WILL come along.
4. True love is going to be uncomfortable because you will make sacrifices with the exclusive end of benefiting the one you care about the most … and it’s not supposed to be you!
Valentine’s Day is about showing our love to the world and the people we care about. It’s not about the gift, the dinner or the card. It’s about the smile, the understanding, the love.
Love is what makes us human — what makes life worth living. Nothing else matters – not the size of our homes, not our bank balances, not the number of Facebook friends, not whether we are in a relationship. It is about experiencing love – from whomever is in our lives: our family, our kids and even our friends.
No matter what stage you are at – perhaps single and having a ball, in a great relationship or recovering from a broken heart – I hope you make a point of loving yourself today. Once you do, you will be able to love those close to you and the world. Maybe that’s a bit unHallmark of me — but whose watching??
Have a great day!
theyearof50 