So, I’ve got about 10 minutes before I leave for my movie and dinner with a friend and I really don’t want to use that time wisely. I don’t want to do yet another load of laundry. I’ve cleaned myself up so I don’t want to do the dishes. So, I do what we all do when we have a few minutes – I get on the internet.
I decide to google the last food item I had eaten – a banana. When I do, up comes hundreds of web sites – and one of them says: “How many calories in a banana?” Hmm, I wonder, “just how many calories are there in a banana?” As you can see, this is the high brow way of wasting time – something I do quite infrequently! So, I click on the web site and here’s the list that comes up:
1. How many calories are in a banana split? Not really my question but sounds good. Makes me think of having a dessert tonight!
2. How many calories are in a banana and apple smoothie? How do you chop apples into a smoothie? Too complicated for me and I am running out of time. I just want the calories in a banana.
3. How many calories are in a banana cream pie? Did I not just ask for the calories of ONE banana? Geeze. I move on.
4. How many calories are in a raw banana? What other kind of bananas are there? Weird.
5. How many calories are in a single banana? Ok, here we go. But before I can click on it I see #6 – which totally catches my eye.
6. How many calories in Chiquita banana? You mean to tell me that some brands grow bananas with more or fewer calories? Now I am hooked and going to be late as I see #7.
7. How many calories in a 6 inch banana? Seems a bit pornographic to me. Not going there.
8. How many calories in a Dole banana? Is this going to be more or less than the Chiquita (love that name) banana?
9. How many calories in a Costco banana? My guess is the Costco banana has fewer calories at a bulk price. Don’t you think? OMG – what’s happening to me?
10. How many calories in a big banana? Really? Am I going to get a web site of bananas or men? Yikes!
11. Do bananas neutralize stomach acids for an ulcer?
This is the problem with the internet. I ask about how many calories in one banana and I get stomach ulcers!
12. What happens when you eat a bananas only diet? I’m done. Who has the time to write this s$%#? And, why am I standing here reading it? I put my coat on and leave – but not before erasing the history. I don’t want my kids to know about the stupid stuff I do in the internet when they’re not around!
Have a great day!
theyearof50 