You can’t have a silver lining without the experience of the dark clouds. Many times in my life, and again most recently, I thought I was heading in one direction and then realized that I might be heading another direction, albeit unintended. Sometimes I find myself focused on the dark cloud of the change but I should focus on the fact that I will eventually find the silver lining around the cloud.
These are no bad turns or forks in the road. There are simply turns, changes, adjustments. These are elements of life. All of us experience change. In fact, change happens regularly. Some people consider it a challenge and embrace it by looking forward to what is ahead. Others (like me!) resist change because we are comfortable and secure with things the way they are.
Yesterday, I was having lunch with a friend when something came up that shocked both of us – quite simply we realized that there was a deep issue between us. At first I wasn’t sure what to do. I could see how big it was and I began to immediately worry about how to analyze and fix it. I got scared, angry and defensive. He did the same. I let all my tapes play so loudly that I’m surprised I’m not deaf! I ran to my ever beautiful cave.
Yet, when I sat back afterwards and just allowed his words to float in front of me, I realized that we are all good at pushing “issues” in our caves, closets or out the door. But those issues come back (usually sideways instead of straight forward). And, regardless of the outcome, talking about it will eventually bring the silver lining of compassion and a new understanding of the person or possibly a new direction. Of course, some things just are going to hang there and it’s better to at least lovingly acknowledge those issues (if they can’t be discussed) rather than stuffing them in a closet.
Good things often come from the challenges we face. When you focus on those challenges you are less likely to get swamped by the darkness of anger, frustration and confusion. When things in life become fearful or they push the play button on your tape player, you can ground yourself by being very clear about who you are, your strengths, weaknesses and priorities in life — With the clear understanding that you are not perfect nor is your partner, child or friend.
These things happen for a reason. Usually to force us to obtain more clarity about ourselves (critical) and others. So, rather than focus on fear and anger, I’ve decided to focus on the silver lining. There’s a plan, a reason why this issue came up, a reason why we both stumbled (badly) in the discussion. I am going to learn from this. I am going to keep my eye out for the silver lining! I know it’s there. It always is.
Have a great day!
theyearof50 