I ran into a friend yesterday – he’s a single parent too. He’s got three kids and has them half-time. He’s got a full-time job and a dog. Whew! I know what’s on his plate and suggested we order some stiff drinks! We joked about getting the same question all the time, “How do you do it,” our friends ask with that look of pity and amazement. We single parents often have the same response … “We just do it.” What else is there to say???
There’s no question that being a single parent poses financial and other hardships. And, I never thought my kids would graduate from high school and I would still be single parenting (looking that way at this point, huh?!). But, there are some very nice positives to our situation:
1. You get to make all of the decisions: As a single parent, you don’t have to compromise with your partner. You decide what you are having for dinner, if you are going out, how to decorate your house and you can leave your clothes on the floor of your room (and take up the whole closet)! Plus, I don’t have to wear anything fancy to bed!
2. You do get a few breaks: For many single parents, the kids go visit the ex from time to time. At first I thought I might die when they left … now I (gently) shove them out the door (with a smile of course!)
3. You get great bonding time with your kids: As a single parent, we get a lot of alone driving time with our kids and we have more flexibility regarding playing a long game of cards, etc. I get to talk with them every night and every morning with no interruptions.
4. I like my ex: There is no question that it is a better scenario (if you can’t stay married) to remain friends with your ex and his/her family. Awkward at times — sure. Interesting — very.
5. The kids have more opportunities to develop responsibility: I can see that my children feel more like partners in our household than “kids.” They have more opportunities to contribute their opinions and participate.
6. I can spend money on what I want: No explanation necessary.
7. I have become more resilient: There is no one to rely on but me. I have had to learn to solve problems quickly and think on my feet. In turn, my kids have watched this and have become more self-sufficient.
Most of us don’t go into a marriage thinking we are going to end up as single parents. Every household has its “issues” and we must make the best of what we have and where we’re at. Maybe someday my situation will change but for the time being, I love and embrace our “spot.” That is the key to happiness – looking at and enjoying where you are now … today!
Have a wonderful day!
theyearof50 