Some of you know that I will often start writing this blog in the evening and finish it in the morning. I usually have something that’s happened to me or something on my mind. I had that plan for today. I began writing today’s post last night and was going to finish it just now (it’s 4:00 am as I write this). I decided to check my email first (read addiction) and I see an email from a very important person in my life … the heading: Blogging and Love. “Well now,” I say to myself, “that sounds interesting!”
I won’t go into the details (that’s for another year of blogging!) but let me remind you (and me) of something critical in life and love – the key to a deep personal and long-lasting relationship is a feeling, no, really a commitment to the idea that we are connected to something bigger than ourselves.
We forget how attached we are to our fears, our childhood and our insecurities. Being in a healthy relationship with someone requires us to step outside of our “self-centered” world-view. The relationship should force us to “let go” and move beyond ourselves, again and again and again.
The love letter did just that. It was about the willingness to be kind, open (flexible), to learn from one another, to catch each other when we become caught in our “selves” and to laugh about it. It was him stepping back, looking at me and seeing me for the person that I don’t often see in myself. And, he had to do it by stepping away from his own needs and desires.
While it is critical to put it into words (and those words were beautiful), it is even harder to actually do it … yet, we must all have faith that our actions and words match (most of the time!). And that, my friends, it’s the key to true (internal and external) honesty … matching words and actions.
Love, the relationship, us, soul mate, whatever you call it … it is the experience of seeing the “me” as smaller, much smaller, than the “us.” Yes, we are interconnected but from that very human relationship, that very human view of “me,” will emerge something that will transcend the “us.”
When we stop, step out and listen and watch the people in our lives, we can see how extraordinary they are and their purpose in our lives. Life is not perfect. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen anything perfect (other than that moment after our child is born … ), but rather than perfection, we can strive to give love and compassion every day. Thank you to my friend, for giving that to me today. I must tell you, it was a feeling so powerful that I can’t describe it.
True love and compassion requires us to walk away from anger, hurt, the past and see with clear eyes. It is necessary for life and love.
Please have a wonderful day.
theyearof50 