While this is an important topic anytime, it is especially important during the holiday season. I don’t claim to be an expert (last I checked, I’m still a single mom!) but we’ve all read studies that show a strong correlation between happiness and high quality relationships. Plus, it’s not just our relationship with our partner, but with anyone close to us — our friends and even our kids. When I do get the chance to talk with the kids about their friendships, I talk about these things:
Listen Deeply to the words and the messages from your friend/partner. Not just what she or his is saying, but also the message conveyed behind the words … the feelings. Don’t just say you are “hearing” them. Listen. There’s a difference.
Respond Carefully after you’ve listened. Words can build or destroy trust. A response can be encouraging or discouraging. You want your words to create a positive impact on your relationships.
Freedom is an important part of a strong relationship. Granting another person the freedom to be themselves, to stretch and grow is the ultimate result of unconditional love.
Support is an important factor in any relationship. In the world filled with more things than we can handle, we will inevitably rough spots and obstacles. A supportive relationship gives us strength and reassurance. Relationships should rejuvenate and re-energize. Aren’t we all attracted to people who are supportive of us?
There will always be disagreements, differences of opinion and even disappointments in the relationship. Solving conflicts with respect, support, and equality can actually strengthen a relationship.
Acknowledge the relationship and the difference the person makes in your life. Validate them and remind them often how special they are to you and the world.
Trust is the glue that holds it all together. Trust that the friend/partner will be there no matter what. Trust that they respect who you are as a person. If you don’t trust them, nothing else matters.
Don’t forget to acknowledge another important relationship – the one with yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities and use them to form stronger and healthier relationships with others. You will end up attracting the qualities in others that are already in you!
Enjoy the last day of the weekend!
theyearof50 