“You can’t always get what you want.” The Rolling Stones

I love this song by the Stones.  It’s true, you can’t always get what you want.  I would venture to say that you can’t get anything unless you make known what it is that you want.

I notice that sometimes I get frustrated when people, often my kids – but not always, don’t automatically understand what needs to get done or happen.  I feel like they aren’t trying or participating in the process or aren’t really committed.

This weekend I noticed that my kids could see the full trash can, their laundry on the floor waiting to be put in their rooms and the dishes on the counter, yet they did nothing.   Or, they would stand there looking at the trash and then look up and comment, “Did you want me to take out the trash?”

This is when I would feel myself getting quite frustrated …  “What do you think?  Why do I have to ask you for something that you should understand needs to be done?  You’ve lived in this house for 13 years and have I ever not wanted you to take out the garbage, do the laundry or pick up your stuff?”

Are you getting into this?  Do you find the same thing happening to you?  Do you simply get annoyed and end up doing it yourself?  I was so frustrated this weekend and then it hit me … maybe I was creating my own frustration.

I would like to assume that my kids and those who are significant in my life would understand what I need.  Sometimes they do, but most often they don’t.   I would also like to think that these same people want to make me happy, like I want to make them happy.  But who am I kidding?  They have their own agenda, so what makes me think I should be at the fore of their mind?

Maybe I should look at this another way.  Maybe I’m not communicating effectively.  Maybe I’m making assumptions that I shouldn’t be making.  Maybe, there are times when I don’t even know what I want so how can I be sure I’ve communicated my needs, wants and desires?

I’m going to try something different.  I’m going to slow it down when I start to feel that I’m-not-getting-what-I-want-or-need feeling and think about the situation.  If I’ve communicated my needs, then ok.  There’s a discussion to be had.  If not, then I need to make sure I communicate my needs – in a calm and clear way and see what happens.

With that deep subject in mind … let’s have a great start to the holiday week!