This week I was asked, what not-so-good traits I have passed on to my kids. Yikes! While I’ve thought about it over the years, I’ve never had to say it out loud!!! Plus, I’ve got so many, where was I supposed to start?
First, I suggested that the part about me where I take on the weight of the world … internalizing other people’s plights … that’s one that I wish the kids didn’t take on to my extreme. Of course, I want them to be compassionate (thankfully they are) but sometimes I go overboard (my close friends know what I’m talking about!). The joke with my kids is that when I die they are going to put on my headstone, “She cared more about the poor people than her own children.” If that’s the worst they can think of then go for it!
Second, I had to admit to my foul mouth. Yes, I do have a tendency to use a few choice words . When one of my sons was younger, he picked this trait up. I would beg him not to say “those” words in front of his grandfather (my ex-father-in-law —- a retired pastor). I figured that would just confirm their opinion of the “mother.” Nothing like a 3 year-old swearing at his grandparent’s house. My son has since cleaned his act up … I have not.
Third, I am Italian. This really needs no explanation – but I’ll give it anyway. While I am very passionate about people, issues, food, almost anything … I am also known to have a bit of a quick temper. In my defense, I must say that I am quick to apologize – but that wasn’t the question I was asked. As I write this I realize that the one kid who got this trait rarely exhibits it … I guess he’s figured out how to manage his passion with his understanding of appropriate behavior … What’s my problem still?
I could go on and on (I think I have done enough damage to your opinion of me) but I have to admit, it was an interesting exercise. It’s caused me to pay a bit more attention to my own behavior and to focus more on the traits I want them to take … like how I neatly fold towels and put them away, how to load the dishwasher (and start it for goodness sakes!), and how not to burp with their mouths open … I’ve got a long way to go.
Have a great day!
theyearof50 