In my cave I have a nice new lap top (I have wireless too) with a software program that I have designed myself (you’re likely saying, “this’ll be good!”). This program allows me to take all my feelings (the ones driven by fear work best) and transform them in to facts. I mean hard facts. The kind that I can internalize and then act on. Then the computer program gives me step-by-step directions (like a YouTube video) of stupid things to say and do that are supported by these newly created “facts.” You can imagine what comes next … I then take these new “facts” and use them to operate in a reality that is based on fear and nothing else. How great is that???!!!
My close friend knocked on the door of my cave this weekend. I opened it a crack and out came waves of my newly created “facts.” He gently reminded me that I was in my cave and that sometimes what seems clear in my cave is not reality… WHAT??? YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! (Geeze, I hate it when someone calls me on stuff like that).
He’s right. We (ok, me) get stuck in those “facts” or assumptions that are based on fear. Sure, sometimes our fears become reality and then I suppose they become facts. However, more often than not if we talk about our fears the other person can change course so the facts don’t materialize as we assumed. Or, at the very least, the discussion can center on admitting (ok, me admitting) that my plush Coach bus with a big clean bathroom (I gotta have that – I’m 50 you know) is being driven by Ms. Fear and taking me to No Wheresville. Hopefully, the person we are “sharing” with knows enough to acknowledge our fears. That’s a critical piece and is important when dealing with anyone … whether it be our children or our partners.
Hey, I know I am the only one with this issue. But, if by chance you find yourself in this same situation, call me. I’ve got my CDL license and I am happy to drive you in my Coach for a visit to the cave. I promise I won’t let you stay there for long!
Have a great day!
theyearof50 
The wise person in the storm prays God, not for safety from danger, but for deliverance from fear. It is the storm within which endangers them, not the storm without. Ralph Waldo Emerson