Why is it that the kids are always looking for things to be “fair?” Where did they get that? Certainly not from my side of the family because we know that life’s not fair! With my kids, it could be anything — from who got the most strawberries at dinner to who got more playing time on an electronic device. Yesterday it was about a strings lesson and because I made an executive decision (Yes, I do make them) that didn’t comport with the “fairness” rule, all …. broke loose.
I got into the fray too, “Hey, do you think it’s fair that I have to plunge the toilet when there’s an “issue – even when I didn’t use it”? That’s not fair to me! And, furthermore is it fair that I am forced to sit in a car with you after soccer, sweaty and with all sorts of other sounds and smells coming from your body? That’s my airspace!!!” (Ok, now I was getting into it). “And really, if you aren’t careful and stop arguing with me there will be a consequence!” Oh, the dreaded, invisible consequence! I use it all the time and it hasn’t worked once. They laughed and one of them reminded me that even when I do “issue” a consequence, I never remember to follow through. “Short-term memory loss, Mom,” one of them said. Man, a tough crowd.
Why do we hear this fairness stuff all the time? In my house, there are three main reasons: (1) sibling rivalry – enough said; (2) it isn’t fair and I really have screwed up (gotta admit to that happening once in a while); or (3) usually when my kids want to do something that “other parents let their kids do” and I am not going for it. The first one, I really can’t do anything about other than embrace their differences and similarities and give them some reassurance. The second one … well, I am not perfect and when I screw up (and I see it!) I would like to believe I am willing to admit it. For the last one, I typically remind them how horrible their life is, what a monster their mom can be and how they can be the same kind of cruel parent when they have kids (smile).
So, yesterday’s issue ended with an explanation of why I had made my executive decision, a compromise to equal the playing field next time and ice cream sandwiches. Food cures all problems (Italian proverb).
Have a great day!
theyearof50 